Well..... its been over a year since I've so much as looked at a livejournal, but for some reason I felt some need to pour out my soul tonight. This year has been crazy and, thankfully, I've come out of it sooo much wiser. Do you know those lies that you tell yourself, how you convince yourself that you are completely content... I've been telling myself that lie for about two years. Over the past year, I decided to take a step back and find myself... I know its cliched, but seriously I think I saved myself! I can remember only a year ago feeling the need to put others down for my own petty ego... I believe I may have used livejournal as a means to do so. I have realised that, the more love I dole out, the more I recieve. This summer, I've done alot for other people... things that I really didn't want to do, but I realised what I've done meant something to other people... I've let myself become a role model... something I don't really think I've ever been before! And amazingly instead of cracking under pressure I've realized that as long as those I help are happy, I'll be okay. Its crazy.. I'm sobbing right now... because I'm so happy! I think that my purpose in life may be to represent something rare in this world, pure love! It's half crazy... I was mugged at gunpoint the other night and I caught myself praying for the mugger's forgiveness...whats wrong with me? whats happened to me? I'm only saying this because I think everyone should show some compassion..you know? HUG that wierd kid in your neighborhood thats never been hugged before, smile and tell people you love them.. you never know when its too late! I love you all so much... I'm here for you guys if you ever have a problem.